Post by Kalia on Aug 28, 2019 12:57:45 GMT -8
Kalia kept her eyes on Adramalech as he listened to Feyre's answer to his question, trying to determine what might be going on inside his mind. Feyre herself held little interest for Kalia; the reddish female could do nothing for her but remind her of the misery they both shared. It was Adramalech who held the power, and Adramalech she must learn to predict.
Unfortunately for Kalia, as soon as Feyre had finished her piece, Adramalech was on his feet. "Stay here," he commanded cryptically, abandoning the pair of them to their own devices.
Kalia knew better than to disobey the order. Nor did she speak to Feyre as they waited. For her, Feyre was a warning, an alarming picture of what she could become if she made a mistake. The silence between them did not last long, as Adramalech returned in a few minutes' time.
"Safety is a fragile thing in this pack," he said, as if Kalia had not already learned that lesson the hard way. His next words seemed to be directed to Feyre alone, and Kalia watched in shock as he explained himself, offering her safety and protection in exchange for information on her pack. Kalia shook her head silently. She'll never do it. The bonds that held a pack together were precious; Feyre would never break them simply for the sake of her own safety.
But then Adramalech's gaze shifted to Kalia herself, and she found that, try as she might, she could not meet his gaze. She dropped her eyes to the ground, only glancing up in snatches as he spoke.
His words were painful words, reminding her of what she had been, what she so desperately wanted to never be again. She had had enough of lies and deception, and he seemed to know that. But what he asked of her, leaning in close so that she was sure to catch his whisper-
"If you want to be trusted and to be no longer considered a liar, you need to show loyalty to me, and only me. You may even be able to make yourself more than a slave if you work hard enough."
Loyalty. That was what he wanted from her. He was offering a second chance to prove herself to Mortiul, to prove that she was more than the foolish, naive young female who had come to their borders with such high hopes and seen them dashed to pieces. For a moment, for one wild, hopeful moment, she wanted to cry out in agreement, to say yes to what he wanted if only it would free her from this nightmare.
His next words came low and dark. "But one wrong move and that pretty little neck of yours will be snapped. You'll end up just like those wolves you refused to eat."
And just like that the spell of hope was broken. The pups in the caves...the limp, lifeless little bodies on the ground...that was what this pack was. That was the Mortiul. That was what he was asking her to give her loyalty to- everything she no longer wanted to be.
The part of her that still cared only for self-preservation told her to agree anyway, to accept the second chance while she still could. But the part that kept her awake at night, tormenting her with the shameful reminders of what she had once been, whispered the opposite.
Lost in thought, she barely heard Feyre's answer to Adramalech until something in the other female's words captured her attention. Feyre was doing as Adramalech asked, giving him the information he needed, breaking the trust between her and the ones she loved. Kalia stared at her in utter shock.
How could she?
But even as the question blasted through her mind, she knew what the answer was. Feyre had lost herself. Mortiul had broken her down so far that she was willing to betray those that she loved most.
And Kalia had done the same by becoming the deceptive killer, the wild one who sought out Mortiul with bloodlust in her heart and vengeance in her eyes. She had realized her wrong, realized what her lost loved ones would think of her, and now she stood on the brink of a choice the could make her lose that last piece of conscience once again. Once more Feyre was a picture of what she could become, and her heart cried out against it.
She knew what she had to say. As Feyre finished, and Adramalech's gaze shifted to her, she felt herself trembling. Her resistance to fear was gone now, and she dreaded her answer, knowing there would be a price to pay.
But she had to do it. She could not lose herself as Feyre had. And so, though she could not look Adramalech in the face, though her voice shook as she spoke, she said the words she needed to say.
"I can't," she whispered. "I won't. I can't be what I used to be, the liar, the killer. I can't be like you, like your pack. I can't do what you want. I know what this pack is, and I want no part of it. I can't be loyal to a group like this. I don't care what happens to me."
The last phrase, she realized dimly, was yet another lie. She did care. She was terrified of what Adramalech's reaction to her words would be.
But for the first time in a long time, she was doing the right thing. She clung to that like a lifeline.
She had nothing else left.
Alpha Adramalech Feyre
Unfortunately for Kalia, as soon as Feyre had finished her piece, Adramalech was on his feet. "Stay here," he commanded cryptically, abandoning the pair of them to their own devices.
Kalia knew better than to disobey the order. Nor did she speak to Feyre as they waited. For her, Feyre was a warning, an alarming picture of what she could become if she made a mistake. The silence between them did not last long, as Adramalech returned in a few minutes' time.
"Safety is a fragile thing in this pack," he said, as if Kalia had not already learned that lesson the hard way. His next words seemed to be directed to Feyre alone, and Kalia watched in shock as he explained himself, offering her safety and protection in exchange for information on her pack. Kalia shook her head silently. She'll never do it. The bonds that held a pack together were precious; Feyre would never break them simply for the sake of her own safety.
But then Adramalech's gaze shifted to Kalia herself, and she found that, try as she might, she could not meet his gaze. She dropped her eyes to the ground, only glancing up in snatches as he spoke.
His words were painful words, reminding her of what she had been, what she so desperately wanted to never be again. She had had enough of lies and deception, and he seemed to know that. But what he asked of her, leaning in close so that she was sure to catch his whisper-
"If you want to be trusted and to be no longer considered a liar, you need to show loyalty to me, and only me. You may even be able to make yourself more than a slave if you work hard enough."
Loyalty. That was what he wanted from her. He was offering a second chance to prove herself to Mortiul, to prove that she was more than the foolish, naive young female who had come to their borders with such high hopes and seen them dashed to pieces. For a moment, for one wild, hopeful moment, she wanted to cry out in agreement, to say yes to what he wanted if only it would free her from this nightmare.
His next words came low and dark. "But one wrong move and that pretty little neck of yours will be snapped. You'll end up just like those wolves you refused to eat."
And just like that the spell of hope was broken. The pups in the caves...the limp, lifeless little bodies on the ground...that was what this pack was. That was the Mortiul. That was what he was asking her to give her loyalty to- everything she no longer wanted to be.
The part of her that still cared only for self-preservation told her to agree anyway, to accept the second chance while she still could. But the part that kept her awake at night, tormenting her with the shameful reminders of what she had once been, whispered the opposite.
Lost in thought, she barely heard Feyre's answer to Adramalech until something in the other female's words captured her attention. Feyre was doing as Adramalech asked, giving him the information he needed, breaking the trust between her and the ones she loved. Kalia stared at her in utter shock.
How could she?
But even as the question blasted through her mind, she knew what the answer was. Feyre had lost herself. Mortiul had broken her down so far that she was willing to betray those that she loved most.
And Kalia had done the same by becoming the deceptive killer, the wild one who sought out Mortiul with bloodlust in her heart and vengeance in her eyes. She had realized her wrong, realized what her lost loved ones would think of her, and now she stood on the brink of a choice the could make her lose that last piece of conscience once again. Once more Feyre was a picture of what she could become, and her heart cried out against it.
She knew what she had to say. As Feyre finished, and Adramalech's gaze shifted to her, she felt herself trembling. Her resistance to fear was gone now, and she dreaded her answer, knowing there would be a price to pay.
But she had to do it. She could not lose herself as Feyre had. And so, though she could not look Adramalech in the face, though her voice shook as she spoke, she said the words she needed to say.
"I can't," she whispered. "I won't. I can't be what I used to be, the liar, the killer. I can't be like you, like your pack. I can't do what you want. I know what this pack is, and I want no part of it. I can't be loyal to a group like this. I don't care what happens to me."
The last phrase, she realized dimly, was yet another lie. She did care. She was terrified of what Adramalech's reaction to her words would be.
But for the first time in a long time, she was doing the right thing. She clung to that like a lifeline.
She had nothing else left.
Alpha Adramalech Feyre
